A roaring crowd packed the Mall this morning to hear Mr Julian Assange address them from the balcony of Buckingham Palace. Amongst his retinue, Her Majesty herself, standing graciously at a respectful pace behind him. In his speech, Mr Assange exhorted the crowd to have no secrets one from another, lest the people who walk in darkness prevail upon the earth. He encouraged them to rise up and to demand. The President of Ecuador spoke movingly of how Mr Assange had changed his life. He then released thousands of pages of secret police files upon the winds; they turned into doves and flew away.
Mr Assange then put the motion, That this house declare war upon Sweden, which was carried nem con.
A spokesman for the Metropolitan Police said that there were many familiar faces in the crowd and that it was nice to see old friends.